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This is my new Blog about the murder novels I wrote and also featuring rants, comments and a few book reviews I have written for other writers. Enjoy yourself and bookmark the page to come back to see more new things. 
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New, starting February 1st 2010.
To get your FREE copy just use the Paypal link below for the postage and your address, it's free to use.
Included with your FREE book is a discount coupon for my other books ordered online. Don't want to use Paypal, I accept checks, send email to bob@magic1online.com and I'll send you an address to send your check. Want to read a preview of the book before you order, CLICK HERE Totally FREE E-Book copy of "Classmate Murders"
NEW! Offering FREE EReader ebook or Computer readable PDF of my first book, no Charge!
Just send me an email with your email address where I can send it to and it's yours!
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Detroit area resident, Bob Moats, has been writing short stories
and plays for as long as he can remember. He has lost most of his original stories,
typed or handwritten, in the numerous moves he has made from his hometown of Fraser,
Michigan to Northern Michigan, to Las Vegas and back to Fraser, where he now lives.
He also wrote the short fantasy novella "Crystal Prison of Kyr" and is a published
playwright with his three act comedy "Happily Ever After".
Moats became one of the causalities of unemployment early in 2009, and had time on
his hands to finally pursue a life long dream of writing a full blown crime novel.
Thus was born the first book, "Classmate Murders".
What followed was a series of seven books starting with "The Classmate Murders" which
introduces the main character, Jim Richards, who has to admit he has become a
senior citizen, reluctantly. Richards, one day, receives an email from a childhood
sweetheart asking for his help, but by the time he reaches her, she has been murdered.
His life turns around and he is pulled into numerous murders of women from his high
school who he hasn't seen in forty years. Along with a friend of his, Buck, a big,
mustached biker, they go off to track down the killer before he can get to one former
classmate, Penny Wickens, a TV talk show host who Jim has just fallen for while protecting
her. The killer is also murdering the women right out from under police protection,
driving homicide detective Will Trapper crazy, and he slowly depends on Jim to help.
There's humor, suspense, wild chases across suburban Detroit with cops, classic cars
and motorcycle clubs; murder, mayhem, a good amount of romance and a twist ending. Jim and his fellow crime fighters, continue in the other books, traveling to Las Vegas
twice, back to Detroit and out to New York to solve murders involving dominatrix; mistresses;
Bridezillas; magic and strip clubs. Previews and comments are available on this site. Book titles: Classmate Murders; Vegas Showgirl Murders; Dominatrix Murders; Mistress
Murders; Bridezilla Murders; Magic Murders and Strip Club Murders.
For those who wish to write I'm at bob@magic1online.com or murdernovels@mail.com
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Bob Moats - Writer of Murder Novels
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Featuring my "Smoking Hot Blonde"
I have started to add some personal rants and comments
about my life, past and present, and things going on around me, those posts are at the bottom half of this page. |
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Check out the new review of my 1st book "Classmate Murders" written by Heloise Riddell
on her blog, there's also a great interview with yours truly!
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This is on Youtube and the quality is not like the original, but you'll get the idea.
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"The Public is the Only Critic Whose Opinion is Worth Anything at All" - Mark Twain
*** Ray Zink, Rice, Minn. A. Norris, retired Naval Corpsman G. Shurig, Kalamazoo Jan Schneider, avid mystery/crime reader M. K., retired Chrysler Admin. The real "Buck" Carver. Michael Rasah, Professor of History, avid mystery/crime reader. B. Scharmann, Rochester Hills, Michigan
Joyce Van Houzen-Stacy, B.A.,M.B.A.
Ken Boggs, former 1967 classmate of "murdered cheerleaders."
Fred Scharmann, Avon, OH Joanne Chase, book reviewer, cuttothechasereviews.webs.com, Reviewed January 9, 2010 ****
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issue of the Senior Living News for Southeast Michigan.
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Do you read books on a portable device? Classmate Murders is now available on Barnes & Noble Books website!
Do you read books on a portable device? Classmate Murders is available on Smashwords! Murder Novels Books on Kindle
Do you have a Kindle? I have three of my books on Amazon.com for Kindle! |
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Below are the books I wrote and a book summary from the back covers of the books, |
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Hollywood has come and gone for Jim and Penny, the TV movie about
the Classmate Murders has been filmed and shown on TV and their lives are back to
normal now. A woman comes into Jim's office one day from a mystery writers organization
requesting Jim
to join them on a luxury cruise of the Pacific Ocean to give a speech about his book,
movie and his adventures being a P.I. but once Jim and Penny have sailed port the
fun begins. It seems mystery writers are a murderous bunch of people and someone
doesn't like a few of the writers and a book agent, so people are turning up dead. The Captain
of the liner decides to enlist Jim in the hunt for the killer before the cruise
goes south. Jim and Penny are joined by Buck and Maria as they try to solve
the crime and give the mystery writers something to write about in this ninth book
of the Jim Richards murder novels.
Preview not yet available
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To Add a Book Comment
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Jim has returned from New York after tracking down his kidnapped client, when Hollywood
comes into his life. Jim has finally published his novel about the Classmate Murders and the book
is being optioned for a mini-series on television. All goes a bit askew while he is on the
production team for the film and his story is being changed around to suit the studios and not
the way it actually happened. To make things worse, the actresses playing the murdered victims
in the original crime are now being murdered on the movie set. Jim must now go through the murders
again to stop whoever is the new killer and to protect Penny who is threatened for being the last
of the original cheerleaders who didn't die. While all the movie frenzy is going on Buck has a
problem of his own, finding a stalker who attacked the girl Buck was protecting, in this eighth
book of the series.
DON'T READ THIS BOOK unless you have read all of the Classmate Murders! Read a
new preview of the now finished book CLICK HERE |
To Add a Book Comment
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Jim Richards is relaxing in his office one day when he receives a phone call from a
past Las Vegas mob connection, Angelo, who's cousin in Detroit owns a strip club and
has a problem, a missing dancer and also his girlfriend. Jim starts his investigation
and along with Buck, going into the world of stripping, prostitution, slavery and human
trafficking extending from Detroit to New York. They are aided by a Detroit homicide
cop with a mysterious government past, and the three men end up in New York seeking
the missing girl in the slime of the Rex Erotica, a legitimate corporation that may
harbor dangerous secrets. Strippers, murder, fast cars and the Mob are just part of the story
in this seventh book of the series.
View 10 chapter preview: CLICK HERE.
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To Add a Book Comment
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When Jim Richards is asked to go back into his past to help an old friend receive a
lifetime achievement award for his service to the world of magic, Jim ends up replacing a
murdered magician in a contest of wits and magic to find the killer. But there are more reasons
for killing off a few magicians to get to the valuable prize, as Jim finds out. A four day
convention of magic in the Magic Capital of the World starts Jim and his band of crime solvers,
Trapper, Becker, Buck and Penny venturing beyond the boundaries of logic where people disappear
and are cut in half, or turn into roaring tigers. Why are the magicians dying, and what is the
secret of the amazing box and it's contents. Will Jim reveal the hidden truths and expose the
killer before another magician will die, Jim himself.
View 10 chapter preview: CLICK HERE. |
To Add a Book Comment
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Wikipedia describes: Bridezilla (a combining of bride and Godzilla) is a term used to
describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends
and bridal vendors in her wake. A Bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day
and will disregard the feelings of the family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest
for the perfect wedding. Jim Richards, the senior citizen sleuth, realizing life is short,
proposes to Penny and they decide to go back to Las Vegas for the wedding, inviting family
and friends. Penny's TV producer provides the corporate jet to fly them all out, but there's
a catch, that the whole wedding be taped for Penny's show. Once in Vegas they run into a
couple of real Bridezillas, but then one is murdered, is the other one next? Will the film
crew tape this murderous adventure and will Trapper and Becker be caught for their pranks
around Las Vegas?
To read a 10 chapter preview CLICK HERE.
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To Add a Book Comment
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Jim Richards, the senior citizen sleuth, has solved the Dominatrix Murders and is now
relaxing when she walks into his office. A gorgeous red-head with a husband problem, she
suspects he's cheating on her and maybe getting ready for a divorce. Jim takes the routine
case and when he reports his findings to her, does she take it well? To make matters worse,
the husband has now been accused of murdering his mistress, but the facts are not straight,
is he being set-up? On the side, Jim asks Buck to bodyguard an expensive Australian Terrier
who's life is threatened and is about to debut at an AKC dog show, does the dog make it
to the show or is it a no-show, or is the dog's owner in danger. This is the fourth novel
in the Jim Richards series. To read a 12 chapter preview CLICK HERE.
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To Add a Book Comment
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Jim Richards, the senior citizen sleuth, has returned from Las Vegas and has opened up his
investigation business. His first client is a housewife wanting to find out if her husband is
cheating on her, but is there more to their relationship than just cheating? Is her husband a
wealthy wife killer and into bondage? Is this wife going to die or will the murder of his
personal Dominatrix stop his plans? To add to Jim’s workload, he also takes on a murder case
for a lawyer, to find a mystery woman who can provide an alibi for a man accused of butchering
his wife, also a Dominatrix, an odd coincidence. Are the police or someone in high office trying
to sabotage this case and send an innocent man to prison, and killing the witnesses? All in a
day’s work for Jim along with Penny, Buck and Will Trapper in this 3rd of a series of crime
novels by Bob Moats. To read a 12 chapter preview CLICK HERE.
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To Add a Book Comment
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The senior citizen sleuth, Jim Richards, has survived the Classmate Murders along with his
new girlfriend, Penny. This 2nd new book brings them, along with Buck and Deacon, across the
country to Las Vegas, where Deacon’s sister, a showgirl, narrowly escapes being poisoned,
another showgirl took the poison possibly meant for her. Then a second showgirl is suddenly
murdered and Jim and his crew must take action to bring the murderer to justice. Jim’s past
experiences living in Las Vegas now helps to solve the murder of the showgirls, but his past
comes back to haunt him. Could the murderer be a Vegas strip headliner, a comic Jim had
worked for, or someone entirely unknown. How many deaths will there be before it ends?
One thing for certain, Vegas will never be the same when they finish.
To read a 12 chapter preview CLICK HERE.
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To Add a Book Comment
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Jim Richards has reluctantly turn sixty and has just quit his job as a security guard.
He describes himself as "I live in my old bedroom in my parents house, lousy credit score,
over-weight, balding, gray beard, I drink at least 8 beers a night, I'm now unemployed and
I just became a senior citizen, I'm such a loser". One day he receives an email from a
childhood sweetheart he hasn't seen in over 40 years, pleading for help but he doesn't
get to her in time. A killer is now stalking and killing his old female classmates (while
they are under police protection) for unknown reasons and Jim, along with his only friend
Buck, a big, mustachioed biker, are trying to stop the killer before the class of '67
has lost any more of it's female alumni. To read a 12 chapter preview of this book
CLICK HERE
Book being offered for FREE, see top of this page for info!
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Your Turn to Speak
To Add a General Comment about my blog or rants
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My Smoking Hot Blonde :)
Non Sequitur by Wiley MillerI'll probably get yelled at for putting this here but I got a real laugh at it, enjoy it till I'm told to take it down by the comics people.
I write like WolfGirl's author, I don't have an ending
My Chat PoemBack in 1992 or so, I used to get on IRC chat rooms a lot and I met a woman online who inspired me to write a poem about meeting someone online. I used to write a number of poems back then but this is the only one I could find that survived the years. Hope you enjoy it.
I sought refuge through a wire
The faceless voices on the screen
Hidden in my room so safe
Being brave I venture out
I disguise myself with a name
Talking all, listening none
Then a voice cuts through the mire
A friendly voice of happiness,
My spirits soar through the wire
Giving smiles and LOL's
Secrets told, thoughts are shared
My special friend in the wire
Posted on February 11, 2010
Was Bugs Bunny a Crossdresser?
As a child watching all those Bugs Bunny cartoons, I never realized how many times the wascaly wabbit wore women's wardrobes. I just thought of it as funny and never thought of the possibly deeper meaning in what he was doing. I never even questioned all the times that he kissed men full on the lips. I guess I wasn't put in any emotional turmoil because Bugs always went nuts and acted typically male when ever he saw a babe in a bathing suit and usually ended up with a face full of kisses. Recently after a full day of a Bugs Bunny cartoon marathon on cable and as an adult I now feel obligated to analyze those deeper meanings behind his actions. So, since we all know that Bugs had healthy hormones when it came to women, we can assume that he was heterosexual and he never flirted with men unless it was to avoid getting shot at, which to me was more of a defense move than a preference. One time he did go through a mock wedding with Elmer Fudd, but it was meant to completely throw Elmer off track and not as a statement that Bugs had a desire to be Elmer's better half. So examining his sexual orientation, we can safely assume that Bugs was a healthy heterosexual he-man hare. Now it seemed that Bugs frequently donned women's clothing to elude his predators, but was this necessary? Many other cartoon characters found other ways to evade capture such as putting a lamp shade on their head and standing still or slamming a door in their stalker's face. Bugs chose to put on women's clothing and beguile his aggressor, putting them off until they saw through his ruse. He seemed to actually enjoy going through the arduous task of a complete makeover in a matter of seconds to foil the villain. But why go through all this trouble, as we know it is, when a fast hole dug in the ground would have stopped a truck. Simple, Bugs was a closet crossdresser and used cartoons as a vehicle to show off. It is well known that comedians have used comedy to bring out their pain or deep emotions and have let it out through their satirical actions. This points up to the fact that since Bugs had so many different alternatives at his disposal to prevent capture or worse, why the crossdressing? Because this is part of what he was and he fell into it when it was needed. Male rabbits have a heavy stigma put upon them as being sexually aggressive and this can be a burden to a sensitive crossdressing hare. As a male, Bugs was always running from someone, but when he assumed his female persona, he became the aggressor and protector of his male alter-ego. This is not conducive to the stereotype of aggressive male, passive female, which Bugs seemed to be skewing. The rational behind his actions was to distract the aggressive male chaser with a helpless, demure female which showed that he could feel at ease being feminine even in a tense situation. Further proof that he was into crossdressing was the fact that he always had feminine clothing and make-up handy even during a speedy chase scene. This could only be possible because a male who was a crossdresser would have such an extensive wardrobe and accessories available at their immediate disposal. He probably wore the feminine clothing under his rabbit suit and had make-up tucked in his pockets. Some of the more exotic costumes were probably stored in various hiding places throughout the forest to be used when he wanted to relax dressed or for emergencies. Bugs, as far as I have seen, at fifty years old was also single. This was probably a result of the realization that if married, he would have to explain his actions to his wife and the children, and for a rabbit that could be well into hundreds of children. It's hard enough to reveal that you are a crossdresser to one child, let alone hundreds, so Bugs opted not to have to put himself through this extended grief by remaining single and true to himself only. A noble gesture but this can tend to make a rabbit frustrated by not having someone to share their passion with. Occasionally Bugs would slap a dress on Elmer, Yosemite Sam, or Porky in an attempt to stir up some companionship, but this usually met with their resistance. In an attempt to come out of the rabbit hole, Bugs used the cartoon medium to show off his desire to dress. No one questioned the fact that he dressed because they were all too busy chasing him and the dressing was just a temporary distraction to them. He seemed to enjoy starting up a chase just so somewhere along the way he could transform and get a vicarious thrill in attempting to pass as a woman before his pursuer. This sad attempt will only result in a self- destructive nature that will end up with Bugs hitting the singles bars and finally to the street corners in an attempt to find a little action. The worse part is that he has no friends, only enemies, to share the turmoil as to his gender identity. Darn if I'm not starting to sound like Geraldo. Bugs was no different than Uncle Miltie when it came to comedy drag and did it all for the gag. Or did he? ThThThaat's All Folks!
Posted February 5, 2010
All right, to explain that statement, I'll have to give you my personal philosophy on time. There is no such thing as time. There, that was easy to say, now why? Well, I first have to state that time was created by man, which we know is not a good thing, since man created "As Seen on TV" products so we know he has made a few mistakes. Way back when the early humans found that they were wandering aimlessly and missing witch doctor visits, they had to form some kind of schedule to keep them on track. So, since they had no mechanical skills yet to make clocks, they decided to chart the days and nights and made the calendar. If you Google it, there are a number of calendars out there, Gregorian, Chinese, Mayan, etc, to really confuse everyone. Well, once the calendar was refined for us "civilized" people, we now knew when to take the chariot in for greasing the wheels and re-shoeing the horses. But for the blacksmith to avoid the pile-up of customers, the day had to be broke down into segments, so some smart man came up with the clock. Now our day was divided into tiny slots that we could schedule appointments and TV shows in. Well, TV wasn't invented yet, but would be. Now, over the years we have gotten used to the concept of time as a thing that is ticking away, and if we could run real fast backwards, we could catch up to the minutes past. Superman had to fly real fast around the world backwards to go back in time, and Star Trek would just slingshot around the sun to go back to the sixties. I say time is a charted concept, not a physical entity. I believe that we just move in physical space from one place to another, tear down and build up and it's all in the same "moment", it's just movement and change. How often have you been in a town where there has been no progress or change since the civil war and felt you were back in time (using the word loosely)? Well, that's my point, the town hasn't moved or changed it's buildings so there has been no change in "time". I could just sit in the middle of a field and not move and technically time stands still, but the watch on my wrist keeps ticking ahead to force me to think I am moving forward in this thing called time. Even though I may never leave the field, everything around me is building, changing and moving in physical space. Also another incorrect concept is the aging process. Even the term aging is incorrect, as we don't age in time, but our cells are changing and dividing and sluffing off to become dust. Our bodies grow and change and wrinkle, then break down not because of time, but because we haven't found a way to halt this change, so we assume that we are being eaten by the ravages of "Time". The statement "Boy are you getting old" should be "Boy is your body changing and falling apart badly". Okay, I'm getting confused myself and I know what I mean. A few years ago, Lee Aronsohn, along with Chuck Lorre created a few great TV shows, "Dharma and Gregg", "Two and A Half Men" and recently "The Big Bang Theory", which has nothing to to with time. But Lee Aronsohn, wrote on one of the Vanity Cards that appear at the end of each of these shows for less than a second of the clock, his belief of the concept of time and I found it to be better of an explanation. He wrote: "Contrary to conventional wisdom, time is not a dimension. In fact, time does not, in itself, exist. 'Time' is simply the name we give to one aspect of the ever-changing relationship between moving objects in the universe. If nothing moved, there would be no time. Hence, 'time travel' is a meaningless concept and I will never be able to go back and avoid having written for 'Charles In Charge'." Yes, he was trying to be funny, but it makes sense to me, and I had thought about this long before he stated it. I was ahead of his time. Opps there I go again, it's time to stop this, I have no more time to write, so I'll spend a few minutes sitting very still and trying to stop my aging process. Nope, not working. Written and Posted January 29, 2010 (Another concept of change) * February 4, 2010 - Update to my "There is No Such Thing as Time Travel" article. Okay, in fairness to those people out there who love the time travel scenario, I will re-state part of my belief. While one could not go back in time, unless the universe would be agreeable to move everything back into place on the "day" you want to go to, and humans would rebuild the buildings and place props back where they were on the "day" in question, it's physically impossible to travel back. BUT, now my admission, time travel into the future is possible, just don't expect to get back. How? Well, a time machine has been built to do this, it's called Cryogenic freezing. You go to a place and tell them you want to stand around until 2158, they freeze you so all your body functions, down to your molecular being, stops. You are hopefully not conscious during this long wait, and when they thaw you out, you are in the future, and your body hasn't changed. Voila! Time travel. As I said, unless you can get objects back in place and reverse the body changes of people to the place they were when you were frozen, you can't go back to that moment you started the long wait. Okay, I wanted to be fair about this and this is my addendum to my time travel rant. Excuse me, while I go to the basement and take a look at the meat freezer, I may want to skip ahead to next year.
I met Bob Kuykendall on Twitter and we both shared the love to write crime novels. Bob's book, "The Addict" is an intriguing tale about a special agent for Homeland Security and his mission to find a killer who is poisoning drug users with a bad mixture of a street drug. Along the way he runs into a former classmate and football team player, Esposito, but the friend is now an addled drug user who can't seem to get his life together without lying and using. Cade is the agent who tries to reform his now attached friend all while trying to track the killer, but his own inner turmoil is getting the best of him. He feels conflicted with being away from his family and his own self-doubts about the people he comes in contact with, both the police he has to deal with and the leads he tracks down in his case. This is an interesting story about a man on the edge and how he deals with it. Bob's use of his past and present occupation in law enforcement adds to the authenticity of the book and sometimes it seems his character is going in circles by the real world rules and not those in fiction where the agent can just bust down doors anytime he feels like. Bob's real world says there is tons of paperwork before and after a door busting which ties Cade's hands often. I won't spoil the ending, it is a head turner, but read carefully this book before you get to the ending. I was given a "Teen Copy" of the book to read since the adult version, with all the good words and stuff, is in the process of being edited for future publishing through Tribe Literary Agency. This is definitely an enjoyable read, and thought provoking. It's also a two tissue ending, I'm big on happy endings in the books I write, but Bob's ending works. Check out the story on http://www.yournextconference.com for Bob and the real man the book character of Esposito was based on. Posted January 25, 2010
Canadian Crime writer Claude Bouchard has established his footing with his first of four novels, "Vigilante". Set in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the city is either loving or hating a person who is "eliminating" the bad guys. Those people who have harmed, killed or just done really despicable things, are the victims of the person calling himself "Vigilante" who police are trying to condemn and catch. How ever you feel about vigilante actions, I'm on the side of law and order but sometimes I root for the anti-superhero. Our police are often shackled by the courts and lawyers who turn out criminals on the streets to do their deeds again, where is the justice? Claude's tightly written book takes you on a mind coaster ride following the first of a series of acts in which the vigilante stops the rape of an innocent woman by dispatching the two perps. We are then introduced to Chris Barry, one of the heads of CSS, Inc. a computer security and investigation firm, and then we come to police Lieutenant Dave McCall, each man eventually teaming up to track down the vigilante. Chris is called on to help backtrack a number of emails from the vigilante but the trail is empty making a challenge for the crew of Chris' firm. Eventually Chris and McCall establish a friendship beyond the crime. You have to read this book carefully, as it gives the identity of the vigilante early on, I thought this was a bold move for a writer, but is what you read, what it is? The vigilante goes through his routine with his list of people he feels needs to be put away forever, and you are intrigued by the descriptions of the "crimes" acted out by the vigilante. There are a number of sub-plots that are all tied up in the end which is a thought provoker. I won't spoil the ending but the last sentence of the book really takes the thing in a great direction. This book is also being represented by Tribe Literary Agency and Claude's other books include the same great characters from this book which I haven't read them yet but plan to someday soon. Visit his website at http://bigceebee.webs.com Posted Juanary 25, 2010
As I start typing this, it's 6:21 in the morning, and I'm not usually up this early but I just woke from a strange dream in which I was in a classroom with Thomas Magnum (yes, the P.I. guy from T.V.) and he was just about to give an oral report when he announced to the class that I would present his report for him. In a panic I took the huge pile of scribbled loose leaf notes and visual aids from him and tried to sort it all out as the teacher stood hovering nearby waiting. The notes (in duplicate with carbon paper between each sheet that I had to remove) were, of course, unreadable and the visual aids were cardboard stand-ups that wouldn't stand. As I finally got one stand-up to hang from a nail on the wall I turned to find all the paperwork was missing (the fiends even took the carbon paper) and stood there hoping the school bell would ring early. OK, I've never been in a classroom with Magnum P.I., or Tom Selleck for that matter, and I've never seen that particular classroom or that person pretending to be the teacher before me, so where does it come from? This all takes me to a pet theory I have about dreams. I've always been fascinated by dreams and I've recently had a number of "lucid" dreams where you know that you are dreaming and can, sort of, control the dream. My control of the dream usually gets my face slapped, but it is fun to know you can do what you want and not go to jail. But where do the images of places and people come from in dreams? I've been to places I've never seen, and met people I've never met, and I'd wake in the morning feeling like I just got back from another world. Which brings me, again, to my pet theory. If I have never been to or seen the images in my dreams, then I figure they must come from outside sources acting on my brain as I sleep. So, my theory states that I am actually receiving mental images of memories from souls of past or recently departed people, floating around in the nether world and I am living in their memories for the moment. OK, I haven't begun putting aluminum foil on my head, but think about it, I don't have a Hollywood crew in my head designing and building elaborate sets to make me live in a strange world for a half hour or so, so where else could it all come from. I figure that some dearly departed person tells the bright light that He or She wants to vacation on the other side for a bit longer and comes floating through my head on it's way to wherever, and my brain grabs some images from their life and process them into a little drama, or nightmare, in my mind. There have been billions of departed people, so the air is full of tons of vacationing spirits willing to share their life experiences with me. To those people out there who make piles of money explaining away our dreams as having some deeper meanings would be disappointed to learn that when we fly in a dream it was just Orville Wright taking us for a plane ride and not some hidden inner desire to escape. So, examining my Magnum P.I. dream, Tom Selleck is still alive, even if his career has been in a coma for a while, so it couldn't have been him floating past my cerebral cortex. As I remember there was this funny looking student who was bugging me all the while I was trying to set up the report, and it could have been him who invaded my slumber this morning. Or maybe the impostor playing the teacher was the spirit getting revenge on his "student". Or maybe I'm still dreaming right now at 7:29am living some past writer's life trying to be funny about a subject I know nothing about. Excuse me, I have to wake up now and write a nifty article about dreams. Posted January 23, 2010 *
February is noted for being the month of lovers (for at least one day a year anyways), as St. Valentine's Day occupies the month on the 14th, and men and women rush to purchase candy hearts, cards, gifts and flowers, etc, to show the loves of their lives that they really care. I don't know who this St. Valentine is or how he (or she) got a day noted for romance (I could check the internet for the name and research it, but...). My main reason for my writing this is not a study of this special day in February, since I have put up with it for far too many Valentine Days, or who the hell was this Valentine person, but I'm doing this as an argument for creating a new holiday for us newly single, divorced and/or burned people who have suffered the indecencies of bad relationships. Face it, with the divorce rate up to over 50% and numerous unreported relationships dying daily everywhere across the nation, and around the world for that matter, why not have a national holiday for us poor slobs who really make up the majority of the battle of the sexless as we sit quietly alone on Valentine's Day wishing a happy crap to the rest of the world's lovers. We are the people who now quietly take matters into our own hands and... opps, not a good image. Try again, we are the survivors of romantic disasters who have gotten on with our lives and today we stand alone to face our future, but do they give us a day to celebrate our becoming free and rejoicing our independence.. NO! We just sit quietly back while the Family Values people ignore the fact what we are even around. Do the greeting card people pump out "Sorry you're single" cards for us, NO. Do the flower companies advertise "Send a sympathy bouquet to a single friend", NO. Do travel agencies advertise "Romantic Cruises for Singles", well, actually they do. The point I'm getting at is we have no validation from a holiday to really recognize our plight. Every other religious, minority or special interest group has some type of a holiday to strut their stuff, why not singles? We also have to suffer the punishment of the government through higher taxes and no dependent deductions, and the indignities from the snickers of people as we sit alone in a movie theatre, our eyes tearing up at the ending of "Titanic" (sort of like our lives, eh). We are put at children's size tables at the back of restaurants because all the other good tables have two chairs or more. We can't even get a second meal at half price with the purchase of one at regular price, unless we eat both meals. Movie theaters and restaurants would make a fortune if they'd advertise "Singles Only Nights" at their businesses so we could go and relax and maybe meet someone special and stop being alone and get married, but then the romance fades, then the fighting starts, and the lawyers are called and a court battle starts as to who gets the cat and they will divorce only to go back to that stupid theatre or restaurant singles night hoping to maybe meet someone special. We are gluttons for punishment and we need a holiday to celebrate it! Send a letter today to your congress person demanding a "Single's Day" as a national holiday! Do it even if you are in a relationship, someday you may be single too! Posted January 20, 2010 *
As of February 1st (1998) it has been 501 days since I last put a cigarette to my
mouth, hung it from my lip, lit it up and curled smoke into my eyes, blinding me as
I sat typing at my computer, trying to look down at the keys as I did back then.
Today, I'm no longer smoking, so I can now see what I'm typing. Unfortunately, maybe
I shouldn't see what I'm typing. Maybe no one else should see what I'm typing. I first started smoking as a 19 year old with those little black cigars the size
of cigarettes that you didn't dare inhale. I only did it because I didn't want to
look like a geek around my way cool friends who all had cigs hanging from their lip.
My first real cigarette came at a teen dance when a girl friend of my supposed girl
friend handed me her lit cigarette as she went to dance. I asked her what should I
do with it and she politely said "smoke it" or something like that. Now my supposed
girl friend hated the smell of those cigars I smoked (actually I did too) but she
didn't mind the smell from her cigarettes so I took a puff. It wasn't bad compared
to the cigars and it had an icy fresh feel in my lungs. I had my first cigarette, a
menthol Kool, and I was feeling really grown-up, and well, kool! I didn't jump into
them right away, but one day shortly after that fateful day, riding in a friend's
car, my supposed girl friend started into me about the cigar smell, so I asked my
friend Paul to pull into a nearby drug store and I bought a pack of Kools and made
her day. Well needless to say the girl friend left my life but the cigarettes stayed.
I was drafted into the Army in 1968 and I could buy a pack of cigarettes for a thin
dime at the PX! After an hour or more of grueling basic training workouts they would
yell "Take ten, light em if you got em, if you don't got em borrow one!" Great
incentive to not smoke, hmm, maybe I have a basis for a lawsuit? I continued to smoke
all through the army and out into civilian life, through many jobs, many moves around
the state, two marriages and the birth of a son (I smoked three packs waiting for him
to pop out). And all through the years I never thought to quit. All of that changed as of September 17, 1996, I'm now a former smoker! No, I'm not
one of those militant smoker who goes around with a loaded hand gun and blows
away people who look like Joe Camel (RIP) or points a wicked finger at people who are
smoking and say "Naughty, Naughty! You're going to die". I can still empathize with
smokers and I still really get P.O'd at the government and the various health
organizations that wants humanity to be smoke-free, HA! We'll all be smoke-free the
same day that we are alcohol-free, drug-free, credit card-free, chocolate-free,
porn-free, shopping-free, auto emission-free, bingo-free, daytime soap-free, and
online chat-free (I could go on, but do you really want that? Do we really have the
time?). California recently passed a ban on smoking in bars and the non-smoking
employees applauded it. Last week I heard that California was reconsidering the
law due to the huge number of those same employees now complaining that their tip
money was cut drastically by the lack of patrons. One man on the radio said his
income dropped by $300. a week. So California will either have to rescind the law
or end up paying unemployment to all those many people who lost their jobs due to
lack of customers in the bars who are now sitting home drinking, playing music and
SSSMOKIN! Anyways, I quit smoking, cold turkey, ONLY because I was financially broke for
a number of days and thought I would DIE without a cigarette, but I didn't. My
parents, both loving and good people, quit smoking about 20 some years ago when
they were my age, the same age I was when I quit over a year ago, 40-something.
Looking back, I never even thought about it when I'd go to visit them, and I would
sit there and puff away on my cigs and they would let me do so, being the good
parents they were, to let my lungs fill with noxious fumes and stink up the room
for them to live in after I left. After I quit I would enter a room where people
have been smoking and now realized how lousy the smell is. Another benefit of not smoking is having extra cash in your pocket. I'd reach
into my pocket on a Thursday night and say "Whoa, where did this money come from?".
I remember back a number of years saying to myself that if cigarettes ever cost
more than $1.50 a pack I would quit, but that was back when I had money to support
my habit. Cigarettes finally topped two dollars and I justified it by the fact
that I still got a paycheck on Friday and would buy a carton at the discount store.
Then cigarettes hit $2.50 and my two pack a day habit got a bit expensive at $35.
a week especially at that time when my income was coming in irregular and flaky as
to when I'd get any money. I would do some strange things to get the $5. for my
daily fix of cigarettes. Then the time finally came when I was totally broke for a
few days, quit smoking and stayed that way. Now when I have money it stays with me,
unless I have to buy food or pay the bills, two things you can't quit cold turkey. Today I honestly can't imagine that I actually smoked daily for 29 years and
now the thought of putting a cigarette in my mouth seems odd. My son hasn't show
any interest in smoking yet, but he's only 16 years old so he's is still classified
as brain-dead (I started at 19, so I was just barely out of brain-dead). I'm not
going to tell people who smoke that they should quit, as I used to get very annoyed
when people did that to me, but I will encourage my son and anyone else who hasn't
started smoking yet to just NOT start and hope they are smart enough to listen! Then
when the day comes that I quit drinking beer, I'll warn them against that too, but
one vice at a time please, as I have no other vices to quit, damn! Posted January 20, 2010
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When I first started reading crime novels, one of my favorites heroes was the P.I. Spenser, no first
or last name. The books were written by Robert B. Parker and I wanted to write my books just like
him. The humor and characters were great, I loved every book. He also wrote the Jesse Stone novels,
most recently made into TV movies with Tom Selleck as Jesse Stone. He wrote the Sunny Randall crime books
about a female P.I. that made me laugh and enjoy good fiction.
From what I have read on the Internet, he passed away at his desk, no word on why yet,
I'll fill this in later. He will be missed.
Posted January 19, 2010
I saw this joke in the Sunday Funnies, it's from the cartoon "Non Sequitur",
which I read religiously. I paraphrased it from the strip, it works so well with how I feel
about dealing with people on the internet. I started working with computers and going online
back in 1992, on a Commodore Amiga computer, B.W. (before windows), and back then the internet
was mostly a text based medium. I used telnet to get there and read my way around to explore
stuff and there was no Google yet. I also discovered chat rooms, I would get on the IRC (internet
relay chat) and established my presence there. I would go into the 30 plus , 40 plus chat
rooms and watch the people chatting and I even participated many times. I love humor so I
would joke about what people said or topics, I usually got laughs, and never offended
anyone, mostly I was ignored. But there were those people who came in and wanted to dominate
the conversation and it had to go their way or they'd start a flame war. Flaming was a way
of arguing with people and being an idiot. It usually chased people away, I hung in until
the idiots tired or left then I would join back in. I did this for a few years, I even met
a girl from Buffalo and we started a long distance relationship that didn't last long. Then came along the real internet, with pictures and animations and video.
I stepped up since the IRC wasn't for me anymore, I grew tired of the people there, too
annoying and narrow minded and I was spending way too much time there. I got into putting
websites together for people and myself, and wrote a good number of stories and articles for
my websites. I loved seeing my words on a page and worked on a longer novella and a stage play.
Bringing me to the twentieth century and beyond I started writing my novels, and wanted to
promote them. My brother is a professional nature photographer and I saw he had gotten on
Twitter, so I signed up. I have met many very nice people and great contacts with the right
people to promote my books. But, there is a but, I also started to see the same problems I
encountered back in the IRC. I basically lurk in the background and watch the festivities
and I've spent way too much time there. I came across one person who was upset with a one
line joke I made about this person's book. It was a quick mention, not going anywhere except
to the few people on at that time, it scrolled off the bottom of the page and was gone. It
would not go out to all of this person's followers unless they retweeted it, so what was
the problem? I still am not sure what. I apologized a couple times to mend fences but it
was to no avail. I don't care, I'll just ignore that person. I'm sometimes overly sensitive
and it bothers me, a simple thing takes the joy out of it all. I've lately gotten tired of Twitter, and a few people who take the pleasure
out of it, I may go see if IRC is still around.
Posted January 18, 2010
I think I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I've been involved with computers and
the internet for over 17 years now, starting out on a primitive Commodore Vic20 and
now today using a more sophisticated computer that still occasionally runs like a
Vic20. Computers are frustrating but the internet can be a place to really lose
your sanity. Over the years I have been bombarded with advertising on TV (infomercials)
and in newsprint about "fantastic, free offers", but I know in my reasonably
intelligent mind that there has to be a price to pay somewhere. The internet has
ten fold the advertising and it's no better or safer than the old fashion means
of mass communication. Again, I say I'm a reasonably intelligent person, but I must
have somewhere in my DNA a tiny gene labeled "gullible" because I had one of those
brain freeze moments when I saw the offer! I was on a website and on the right was
a box that offered me a free Palm Treo 650 cell phone for just answering a "brief"
survey. I always wanted that phone so I sat mesmerized by the offer until my hand
was controlled by that tiny gene to push my mouse to the box and click the link. I
was whisked away to a website that stated I would receive the FREE cell phone by
agreeing to complete a simple survey and try a few special offers. That's all! Wow! I clicked the continue button and spent the next 30 minutes in
Dante's playground. I first had to give them the personal data and I have a post
office box, so I wouldn't have to give my real address to them. Then I was sent to
a page where I had to click the "no" buttons on each of a long list of informational
garbage that I didn't want to receive in my email box (or home mail box), and because
the "yes" button was already selected in each of the fifty or so offers, not pressing
"no" was not an option. I was sent to another page where I did the same thing, making
sure I had them all clicked "NO". I proceeded to the next page, where I was given the
chance to try about 15 special "free" offers, but I was informed I HAD to do at least
a minimum of two to get my phone. I picked two harmless looking offers, one for a free
eight week trial subscription to "Entertainment Weekly" and one to sign up for AOL 30
day free trial. I had to give my credit card info on each to sign up but I use a debit
bank card and keep a small amount in the bank so they couldn't grab more than I had.
I've used AOL before, I wasn't entirely happy with them, but I figured after a couple
of weeks I would cancel before being billed. Yeah, right, more on this later. I clicked the continue button and was sent to page three, where I
found the same offers as on the last page and a statement saying I had to pick two
more offers from the list below to get my phone. I selected one to get info about
postage stamps through the mail and one from "Video Professor" for a free computer
lesson CD. Again I had to give the debit card info so they could bill me for the
small shipping charge. I've used "Video Professor" before and gotten burned because
I didn't read the tiny print on the contract, I'll explain later. Each time I clicked
on these offer links I was taken to a new web page getting further away from my phone
offer page. I was hoping they were keeping track of my wise choices so I would get
my phone. I clicked the continue link and was sent to the same stupid page
as the last two but this time I had to try ten, yes TEN, of the offers on the page.
Why didn't they just tell me on page one that I had to select all the offers and
save time! At this point I said "Poo-Poo Cah-Cah" and shut the computer off. Ok,
now I have to do a little damage control by canceling the free offers as they
came in, but the nightmare was just beginning. I check my banking online so I can see when debits come in and as
soon as I left the "FREE Offer" site I saw that each one of the offers I chose had
put a hold for $1.00 in my account to see if it was really there. The next day
"Video Professor" took out $6.95 for shipping my free computer lesson CDs. As soon
as I would get the Free CDs I knew from past experience that I had to cancel and
send it back or they would bill my account for about $80.00. This is what they do,
you get about 3 CDs that are the free part of the lessons and a fourth one that
completes the course, but if you keep the last disk you have to pay the $80.00 for
it or send it back and be charged nothing. But you don't get the complete course
for free. Gee, they don't explain that in their commercials. Ok, now moving ahead about two weeks, I didn't use the AOL, as
I said I don't like them (I use Earthlink), but one day I find a debit in my
checking for $26.00 from them, overdrawing my account by a few dollars. I haven't
even had my 30 day trial period yet and I was steamed. I called them to "politely"
tell them to cancel the damn thing and put my money back but first I had to go
through the recorded menu punching 82 different selections traveling through the
maze of places going everywhere but to the person I wanted to talk to. Now I was
even madder, but I finally got some guy with a suspiciously Hindi sounding accent
of whom I couldn't understand, finally agreeing to canceling my account although
he made many great offers to stay. Now I just have to wait at least four or five
months to get the money back in my account. End of problems, not yet. A few days later, I go to the bank to deposit money and find
that I'm overdrawn again. It turns out that "Video Professor" has put a hold on
$80.00 in my account and I haven't even gotten the stupid CDs yet. I was really
seeing crimson now and went home and got on their 800 number and discovered that
they don't want to talk to me. Again I got the standard recordings sending me to
a dozen places before I hung up and tried again. I just hit the "O" button this
time and was informed that all customer service reps were busy with customers
(probably complaining) and I could go to their website and put a request in to
their support or leave my number and they would get back to me (probably next month).
I tried as many ways I could to get to talk to a human but nothing worked. I guess
I will wait till the wee hours of the morning when they first open to try calling
them again and if I still can't reach them, I will write many nasty emails to them
until I get a human to talk to. In the mean time, they have tied up $80.00 of my
hard earned bill paying money until I can find a way to get past their answering
machines. align=justify>So, by allowing my impulse to get something for free, I fell into
the trap and I have about $106.00 tied up in my account that I can't touch right
now and I'm starting to get plenty of "Free offer" spam in my email account now.
If it sounds too good to be true, IT IS! The internet is a great place and a great
informational tool, it's just too bad that there are opportunistic people out there
guided by greed to draw in people like me with their traps to take our money. I still never got my FREE Treo cell phone and now I'm on the sucker
list, would someone please take this hook out of my mouth.
Fairness update: I did finally get in touch with Video Professor by calling on a
Saturday afternoon, and was told they offered me a 10 day trial (I'm pretty sure
it used to be 30) and since I hadn't responded they took out their money. I politely
told them I hadn't even received the stupid CDs yet and wanted to cancel. The girl
was polite and canceled the thing and noted in their system that I hadn't received
the disks. She said the money would be back in my account in 10 to 15 days. I'm
amazed how they can grab the cash out of your account in an instant but it takes
10 to 15 days to get it back? I wonder how much interest they accumulate on that
money before it gets back to me. Anyways, I haven't seen the cash yet but it is
coming someday. On a second note, AOL took almost two months and three phone calls
from me to finally get the money back in my account.
Posted January 18, 2010
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Want to know what Buck from my books looks like?
Here's a picture of the real Buck and I, he's the big one in the back,
I'm the old one in front :)
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About my personal life outside of writing books
I'm not going into detail here, to find out more about me visit my other websites:
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